Never Again in Another Life

My boyfriend was a therapist. On the day I got diagnosed with ALS, he was busy celebrating his friend's birthday. He said, "Sophie's got depression. Without me, she could break down, hurt herself, or do worse things." To look after her, he broke up with me and moved into her place. I blocked him on everything, agreeing we'd go our separate ways. Strangely, he lost his nuts when he found out I was dying. Chapter 1 Last month, my hands started shaking when I ate. I couldn't even hold the fork and knife steady. Walking wasn't much better. I kept tripping over my own feet. I called my boyfriend, Mateo Larsen, asking him to take me to the hospital. But he always had excuses. "I'm swamped right now." "Sophie's been unstable lately. I'm scared she'll hurt herself if I leave." "Give me some time. I'll be there for you when I'm free." He was busy ditching me, his girlfriend, to play nursemaid to another woman. Just as I was about to rant, a cutesy yelp came from the other end of the phone. "What's wrong?" he asked anxiously. Sophie Pace whined, "I bumped my head." Mateo chuckled, his tone dripping with affection. "Watch it, you klutz." She giggled, "It's fine. You're here to take care of me anyway." Their flirty exchange made me feel like a third wheel. Mateo had promised to take me to the doctor today, but he'd bolted out the door at dawn. For what? To hit the mall with Sophie. Thinking he had just forgotten, I asked, "Do you remember..." "Hold on," he interrupted. I heard a door creak open. A moment later, he came back and declared, "Let's break up. I mean, it's fake, just temporary. You see, Sophie feels lonely and wants me to be her boyfriend. Once she's stable, we'll get back together. What do you think?" I remained silent. Sophie called for him again, and he got snappy. "It's not a big deal. You're not gonna flip out over this, are you? She's sick. Can't you cut her some slack? Alright, talk to you later," he added, ending the call. I stared at my phone and clenched my fist. But in the end, I let it drop. It wasn't the first time anyway. Mateo was a therapist, famous in his field for his perfectionism. His rates were sky-high, but that didn't stop those patients from seeking his help. He was often too busy to come home. Lately, his junior from school, Sophie, had gotten worse. For days, he'd been out early and back late. He didn't even have time to break up with me in person, just dropping the news over the phone like it was nothing. I stepped out of the hospital with a heavy heart, clutching a report that said I had ALS. There was no cure. I would slowly lose control of my body until I died. With proper care, I might stretch it out a little. Sadly, an orphan like me couldn't afford the insane medical bills. I'd just graduated college, still drowning in student loans. For a moment, I was at a loss. Chapter 2 I couldn't believe I was dying. I had no parents and no family, with only a handful of contacts on my phone. I thought for a moment and decided to call Mateo. He answered instantly but hung up just as fast. Thinking it was a slip, I dialed again. This time, it rang forever before he answered, sounding pissed. "What now?" "Mateo..." The thought of my diagnosis hit me. Memories of our happy times flooded back. It pained me that I couldn't be by his side much longer. My voice shook, but the words died in my throat. I didn't know how to bring it up to him. "It's just a fake breakup, alright? We'll get back together. Why are you acting like this?" he grumbled. "Grow up. If Sophie offs herself, that's on us." Once, he said that he knew me best, able to read my every thought. He knew how fragile I was and promised he'd stick by me through anything. He was my therapist and my closest love. But everything changed when Sophie showed up. Our relationship was reduced to a joke. The second he suggested splitting, I knew we were done. The double blow wrecked me. Still, I steadied myself and said flatly, "I've made up my mind. Let's break up for real." It was time to end this fantasy and my miserable life. ... Since that day, Mateo hadn't come home. I boxed up his stuff and shipped it to Sophie's place. Most of my things went to the landlady. Mary Thompson stared at the pile I hauled over, confused. "Are you guys moving out?" I forced a smile. "Yeah, I can't take all this stuff. Pick whatever you need." She saw right through me. "You broke up with that lad, didn't you?" I laughed bitterly. She caught herself, patting my shoulder. "I thought you two were solid," she sighed. "Oh well, life is full of curveballs. Just remember that there are other fish in the sea." Her open-mindedness soothed me a little. The next day, sorting through the apartment, I felt drained. Even my once-sharp mind became dull. I tossed and turned all night, stuck between nightmares and waking up. By the next evening, I finally dragged myself out of bed. In my haze, I kept calling for Mateo. Back when I had cramps, he'd stumble out of bed, grab me a hot bottle of water, and rub my belly while nodding off. Maybe I leaned on him too much. When no one answered, I cried. Then it hit me that we had broken up. Growing up unloved, I never learned how to love or what it felt like. Mateo was my light, showing me what it meant to be cared for. It was new and strange, something I couldn't let go of. Chapter 3 I never thought anyone could love a wreck like me. Maybe it was too good to last. When the dream ended, the pain hit hard. I had held onto something that wasn't mine for too long. Now it was time to pay back. I charged my phone. When it powered on, missed calls from Mateo flooded in. I hesitated for a moment before calling back. He answered and tore into me. "I told you I'm busy today," he huffed. "Why did you blow up my phone last night? I called back, and you ignored me. Are you messing with me?" I froze, then realized I must have called him in my sleep. "I'm not," I said. He regretted his harsh tone and softened a little. "No harm done. Once Sophie is better, we'll get back together. Just wait for me at home, okay?" There he came again, always putting Sophie first. When it came to me, he never gave a definite answer, just letting me wait endlessly. He took my silence for acquiescence and threw me a couple of sweet words before hanging up. The room went silent again. I curled up, hugging my knees. Tears welled up in my eyes. Time was running out. I couldn't make it till he came back. ... My limbs gave out first. I couldn't lift a heavy mug anymore. I managed to cook a simple meal, but halfway through eating, I ran out of steam. Weak and miserable, I flopped onto the couch and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I caught myself muttering Mateo's name again. Back when he lived here, all I had to do was call for him. He'd scoop me up and carry me to bed. He was attentive, able to catch my every little mood. He made me feel special in the smallest ways. Now he was no longer there. In fact, this wasn't the first time he had brought up breaking up. Every time, it was because Sophie needed him. He had said, "You grew up without parents. You're tougher than Sophie. She can't survive without me. Besides, she's my childhood friend. My parents can't stand seeing her hurt herself. I can't watch her suffer either. Let's fake a breakup. When she's better, we'll patch things up, alright?" I had asked, "Why does her treatment even need us to break up?" Guilt had crept onto his face. "Sophie has always wanted to be my bride. If she finds out I've got a girlfriend, she'll kill herself on the spot." For four years, he had been great to me but kept it low-key. I had never gotten to meet his parents, and he had never taken me to his friends. I had thought he just didn't want their meddling. Chapter 4 Mateo had posted about us on social media, so I hadn't thought much of it. Then one day, he handed me his phone to pay the bills. I saw that post and found it was visible only to me. Turned out, he had faked it the whole time. His love for me was nothing but a show. The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I opened the door, expecting Mary. It wasn't her, but Mateo. I looked at him but didn't feel a thing. I said firmly, "We're over. I'm not getting back to you." He was already on edge, and my words lit a fuse. He slammed my favorite mac and cheese on the entryway table, grabbed my hand, and stared me down. "Say that again," he growled. "What do you mean by that? You're an orphan, and I'm the only one in this world who cares about you." I shook him off and stepped back. "You dumped me first," I said, tearing up. He couldn't bear to see me cry. He cooled off and took my hand, trying to coax me. "Don't cry. That will wrinkle your face. I only suggested breaking up because her parents asked. I'm still your guy. I just need to step away for a bit, okay?" he said softly, pulling me to the couch. His soothing voice lulled me to sleep, but my symptoms felt worse. I only half-heard him whispering that it wasn't his choice. Their parents were tight, and they had begged him to help. Besides, Sophie was his childhood friend. He couldn't sit by. I bought it, but his lies were short-lived. One day, I went to his office and saw a black car parked downstairs. It was Mateo's. A girl lounged in the driver's seat, scrolling her phone. When Mateo came down, she honked. He smiled and walked over with brisk steps. Sophie rolled down the window, tilted her chin up, and demanded a kiss. He leaned in and planted one on her lips. They acted like no one else existed. They didn't even notice me. Something in me shattered. Sophie grinned, "Hop in. I'm taking you for a spin." Mateo climbed in without a second thought. That side of him was something I had never seen before. Seeing his true colors made my skin crawl. It was hard to believe someone could play the perfect boyfriend for four whole years. I started to doubt that our breakup was really about Sophie's depression. Maybe he was just done with me and used her as an excuse. He had been in love with her all along, playing me like a fool. It all clicked. The other day, he'd rushed to dump me so that he could rekindle things with his old flame. I tore up a referral letter from some big-shot client, saying goodbye to the fake past. Chapter 5 I quit my job and stayed home to rest. Back when I was broke, I'd tough out sickness until I couldn't anymore. Then I'd drag myself to a clinic. I could feel my condition getting worse by the day. It pushed me to go back to the hospital for a checkup. There, I ran into some familiar faces, but I didn't feel a thing. It only left a bad taste in my mouth. Years ago, they dumped me at an orphanage after finding out I had a genetic defect. Money wasn't an issue for them, but they didn't want me. Later, they had another kid. It was Sophie. In 20-plus years, we had only met once. It was my 18th birthday. They showed up, all guilt and apologies, with 100 thousand dollars as compensation. I didn't want anything to do with them, so I turned it down. Later, I found out they were bidding against some big company. I was their only dirty secret. If word got out that they had abandoned a daughter, their company would face a PR nightmare like never before. I didn't care and refused to take the money. I just told them to leave me alone. They hesitated before walking away. Until now, I hadn't seen them again. Unaware of my presence, they brought Sophie to the maternity ward. Sophie had never met me, but I knew her from the albums on Mateo's phone. She clung to her mother's arm, rubbing her belly and giggling. A young couple nearby looked at her with envy. "Her parents love her so much. They come along with her every time." "What about her husband?" "Busy at work, probably." "Heard he's a therapist, hot and loaded." Who they were talking about was not hard to guess. I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting. I turned to leave, but a cold voice stopped me. "What are you doing here?" Mateo demanded, yanking me out of Sophie's sight. "I told you, once Sophie's better, I'm back with you. Why are you stalking her at the hospital? If she freaks out and her condition tanks, can you cover that?" "I'm here because I'm ill," I replied, expressionless. He eyed me up and down, snorting, "But you look all fine. I caught you red-handed, so stop lying." "Just feeling off. Came to check," I said calmly. "Oh, and your new girl is pregnant. You know that?" "No way," he blurted out. "Sophie has never even dated. How could she be pregnant?"