You Gain One, You Lose One

I double over in pain after assisting Adrian Randall with a late-night operation. He immediately carries me to a ward to check on me. However, before he can do that, he receives a call from a patient and hurries off. That night, I miscarry. When I come out of the operating theater, I see his childhood friend's social media update. She's shared a photo of her baby bump. "He hurried to come to my side just because I was lost. You have to treat Adrian well in the future, my darling!" I rub my belly, which throbs with a dull ache. I don't cry and demand an explanation from Adrian as I would have in the past. Instead, I like the post and apply for a position on the Borderless Medical Assistance Program. The day I leave, the high and mighty Dr. Randall looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. He asks, "How can you bear to leave me behind?" Chapter 1 When I learned it was a miscarriage, I called Adrian Randall more than ten times. But no one answered. My best friend, Celeste Logan, a gynecologist, held my hand and comforted me for a long time before I finally agreed to get on the operating table. Because I had a low tolerance for anesthesia, I woke up in pain several times. Each time, I hoped to see Adrian by my side. But he wasn't there. It wasn't until after the surgery that he sent a message that read, "Katelyn is my patient. I have a responsibility toward her. I hope you understand." Every time he left me to deal with Katelyn Russo, he would send me a similar message. Clutching my stomach, I sat in Celeste's office to rest. I lifted my hand and typed a line of text into our chat: "But this time, I needed you more." After thinking about it, I deleted it and typed a new message: "Okay, Dr. Randall." Even though Celeste tried to persuade me to stay in the hospital to rest, I didn't heed her advice. If I did as she suggested, people would soon find out I was pregnant. The hospital forbade office romance, and on the day that Adrian and I got together, he had already made it clear that I couldn't publicly show affection toward him. To others, we were just colleagues with good chemistry. I didn't want to give him another reason for us to argue. We had already had plenty of conflicts because of Katelyn. After Celeste watched me take my medication over a video call, I slumped on the couch, groggy. Half-asleep, I was jolted awake by the sound of the door opening. It was Adrian. "You're back." I sat upright. "Yeah." He hung up his coat and went straight to the bathroom, not giving me a chance to say anything else. It was always like this between us. We were colleagues on the outside but barely spoke at home. I heard something chime. I turned my head and learned that the sound had come from Adrian's phone on the table. The message was from a woman with a cute cat profile picture. I tapped on it. The contact was saved as "Katelyn". "Thank you for staying with me so late today, Adrian. I was delighted with you around." My fingers trembled slightly. I remembered the pain I had endured on the operating table. While I kept glancing toward the surgery room door, hoping to see a familiar face, the man I had been waiting for was off caring for another woman. "What are you doing?" Adrian's voice came from behind me. I turned. He stood there wrapped in a towel, looking down at me. Droplets of water slid down his abs, tracing along the lines of his muscles. "Oh, sorry. Your phone just happened to go off." I handed it to him and looked up. "I didn't mean to read your messages." Adrian didn't take it. "I never said you couldn't." He opened his Whatsapp and showed me all of his conversations. "I told you, you can trust me." I froze, still holding the phone. He gestured toward the phone with his chin. "If you ever want to check in the future, go ahead. You already know the password." I know that Adrian wouldn't cheat because his upbringing wouldn't allow it. I smiled and shook my head. "No, thanks. I'm not in the habit of going through other people's phones." Chapter 2 Adrian looked down at me for a moment, then suddenly smiled. He asked, "Why didn't you cry this time?" "What?" "Every time I look after Katelyn, don't you always end up crying? You would cry and beg me for an explanation." I smiled and shook my head. "I had three surgeries today, so I'm too exhausted to cry." He didn't press further. Only after replying to Katelyn's message did he finally speak again. "How's your health holding up?" I froze for a moment. Then, I turned my head and glanced at the pill pack I had just emptied. Even though Adrian was a cardiac surgeon, he knew what this kind of gynecological medicine meant—because the patient he cared most about was pregnant. Yet, from beginning to end, he hadn't noticed anything about me. "I'm fine." I smiled. "There's something I want to talk to you about." "Go ahead." However, as soon as he responded, his phone rang. He didn't even pause as he answered the call. From the other end of the line came Katelyn's tearful voice. "Dr. Randall, the surgery's tomorrow. I can't sleep. I'm so scared." Adrian's grip on the phone tightened. A second later, he turned to get dressed. "I'll be there in ten minutes." "Adrian!" I stepped forward and grabbed him. He was putting on his shoes. When he heard me, he turned, a frown etched on his face, and said in a noticeably colder tone, "Wendy, I already told you that I won't cheat on you." I froze. Indeed, he had said that before. On the first day we got together, he promised me that while he might not be the perfect partner, he would never be unfaithful. Although he treated me indifferently all these years, he kept that promise. "Here, Katelyn's ID," I said as I slipped it into his pocket. Katelyn was careless by nature, so she had simply left all her important documents with Adrian. Whenever something needed to be handled, he just took care of it. I reached up to fix the collar he had hastily tucked in during the chaos, straightening it with a couple of gentle movements. "Come home early. There's still something I want to say to you." All the irritation in his eyes froze for a moment. He lowered his gaze and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Got it." He opened the door quickly, and I suddenly called out, "Adrian!" When he turned back, I asked, "Do you love me?" He froze, his brows subtly knitting together as he gave me a puzzled look. I quickly forced a smile. "Just kidding. It's my birthday today." "Huh?" He paused slightly, then smiled at me. "Alright. I'll bring you some freeze-dried strawberries when I come back. And I'll make it up to you when I have the time." I smiled and nodded. "Okay, but—" The door closed. Inside the room, I whispered, "But I don't like strawberries." Even though I said I would wait for him to return, I knew he wouldn't. Right after he left, I quickly washed up and sat on the bed. Then, I finally called the number I'd been avoiding for so long. Before long, the hospital director picked up, sounding surprised as he confirmed again. "Are you sure you want to volunteer to join the Borderless Medical Assistance Program in Eryndorian? And you want to go specifically to Solaria?" "Yes, I'm sure." "You're well aware of the situation over there, right? There's a high chance you might not come back." I smiled. "It's alright. I'll get to see my parents again then." There was a long silence before he spoke. "Then, on behalf of the Eastport District Red Cross, I offer you my sincerest respect." The next morning, I woke up alone in bed. Adrian hadn't returned. I didn't call him dozens of times like I used to, crying and demanding an explanation. Instead, I took my medicine and got myself ready. Then, I went to work. As I passed the VIP ward, I heard a familiar voice from inside, muffled but sharp. "What's so good about him that you insist on keeping his child? Why can't you just get rid of it? You're four months pregnant. Has he even asked you once how you're doing?" Chapter 3 I was about to knock on the door but stopped mid-motion when I recognized the voice as Adrian's. Katelyn was sobbing. "But this is a life we're talking about. I can't bear to let him go." Adrian's voice was filled with unprecedented anger. "Why do you insist on having a child with him? Why does he get to, while I—" "Adrian!" Katelyn interrupted him. Then, she asked in a quivering voice, "Have you lost your mind?" I curled my hand, still posed to knock, into a fist. In the three years I had been with Adrian, no matter how much I cried or argued with him over Katelyn, he had never been this angry. Everyone said Adrian was calm and collected, never one to lose his temper. As it turned out, it was just because he hadn't met someone who could truly stir his emotions. A soft whine came from Adrian. "Sorry, I was too impulsive. Just pretend I didn't say anything." When the room fell silent, I knocked on the door. "Dr. Randall, are you here? I have a medical case that needs your attention." After a few seconds, he replied, "Come in." I pushed the door open. Katelyn was sitting on the bed, looking like there had never been a fight. She smiled at me and said, "Oh, Dr. Gilmore, you're here so early! Have you had breakfast? I have some freeze-dried strawberries." She handed me a big packet of freeze-dried strawberries from the bedside table as she spoke. I stood frozen, momentarily forgetting to take it. I shifted my gaze to the bedside table. In addition to the freeze-dried strawberries, there were chocolates, fruit roll-ups, candies, and caramel frappuccino. They were all the treats Adrian always picked out for me. I heard myself ask in disbelief, "Are these all the things you like to eat?" "Yes! I've loved sweets since I was young. Adrian had always bought me these delicious snacks." I felt my breath hitch when I saw her smile blissfully at me. Adrian might be cold, but he still showed me care occasionally. One of those thoughtful gestures was the little snacks he often brought me. He never asked me what I liked to eat, and I had always just eaten whatever he brought. But the truth was, I didn't actually like sweets. It turned out that all the treats he brought me were the ones that Katelyn, his childhood sweetheart, enjoyed. After she went abroad, he had nowhere to place that love of his. So he found someone else to absorb all that misdirected affection. I took a deep breath and smiled. "Sorry, but I don't like sweets." After that, I turned and handed the medical case file to Adrian. "Sorry to trouble you, Dr. Randall." Then, I turned and walked back to my office. I knocked over a glass in a daze, and only then did I snap out of it. Just as I was about to reach for the broom, a hand caught mine from behind. "Dr. Randall?" I froze. Then, recalling that we couldn't be affectionate in public, I instinctively tried to pull my hand away. But this time, he held my hand tighter of his own free will. He leaned down, his beautiful almond eyes searching my face for something. "You didn't cry, did you?" he asked. I pushed him away a little and picked up the broom. "Stop messing around, Dr. Randall. We're at work." Sighing, he took the broom from my hand and quietly swept up all the shattered pieces on the floor. "I saw that you liked Katelyn's post on Instagram." He emptied every last broken shard into the trash can. After that, he double-bagged it and tied the knot tight. "I know you're angry." I laughed. "You're hilarious, Dr. Randall." He turned back, his brows furrowing. He swept his gaze across my face a few times but found no cracks. With a helpless sigh, he sat across from me. "Your methods of tormenting me are becoming more and more creative." "I'm not tormenting you. I'm genuinely not angry." "Wendy, stop messing around." "Dr. Randall." I stood up and offered him a faint smile. "I need to do my rounds. We can't afford to get distracted during work hours. Wasn't that what you said before?" Chapter 4 I had barely taken two steps when Adrian called out from behind me. "Dr. Gilmore, Katelyn has surgery this afternoon. We'll need to coordinate." I paused and turned back. "I know." He looked at me. "What I mean is, I hope you won't let personal feelings interfere with your work." I gave a small, bitter smile. "So when you were comforting me earlier, was it because you were afraid I'd let jealousy affect how I treat her surgery?" He shook his head. "That's not what I said." I smiled faintly. "First of all, I'm not jealous. Secondly, I'm a doctor too, Dr. Randall." He frowned slightly. I closed the office door behind me. Katelyn's condition was complicated. She was a pregnant woman undergoing cardiac surgery. The operation ended up taking far longer than expected. There were even a few unexpected complications. Adrian, as the lead surgeon, gave his orders quickly and clearly. "0.1 micrograms of epinephrine, stat." "Got it." For a brief second, a wave of dizziness swept over me. "Dr. Gilmore!" His sharp voice cut through the operating room. I turned my head. Above the mask, his gaze was intense and cold. "Focus on your work." That look in his eyes carried an overwhelming sense of oppression and a deep, unmistakable distrust. I nodded. "0.1 micrograms of epinephrine." Only then did he look back down and continue the surgery. The procedure didn't end until late into the night. When I returned to my office, a wave of dizziness immediately washed over me. I reached out quickly to steady myself on the desk. My legs went weak, every muscle in my body was trembling, and cold sweat instantly soaked my back. "Katelyn's awake, but she's still under observation. So we shouldn't let our guard down yet." Adrian strode into the room and grabbed his stethoscope. Then, he turned to leave again. I reached out and grabbed his sleeve. "Adrian, I don't feel well." He paused, then shoved me aside. "You're a doctor, too. You shouldn't have to ask me what to do." "There are other doctors with her. You don't have to be the one to—" I didn't finish my sentence because he had already walked away. I reached out to grab him. But my hand closed around nothing, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the floor. I figured that I must be experiencing low blood sugar. There was a bottle of glucose solution on the cabinet. I slowly dragged myself over it, trembling as I finally grasped the bottle. But my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't open the cap. I even failed to get a proper grip on it. My phone had fallen to the floor. I tried to call Celeste but saw that my screen was still stuck on my Instagram feed. Katelyn had just posted something. It was a photo that she had taken of Adrian standing at the bedside, leading a team of doctors in consultation. He looked serious and focused, radiating reassurance. The caption read, "Waking up to see you there makes me feel so safe." The bottle slipped from my grasp and fell to the floor. I scrambled to catch it, only to press my hand into the broken shards. The room started spinning. Finally, I couldn't hold on any longer and collapsed to the ground. I heard a colleague call out to me. "Hey? Dr. Gilmore? Are you okay? Dr. Gilmore!" When I opened my eyes, I saw Adrian sitting by my bed with his eyes closed and one hand propping up his head. When he heard me stirring, he suddenly opened his eyes. They were bloodshot. "You didn't stay up all night, did you?" I asked. He gave me a faint smile. "I didn't dare sleep until you woke up." "Oh, you must be exhausted then." "Wendy." He grabbed my hand and cupped it with both of his to warm it. "Katelyn's pregnant, and she's my patient. I can't just leave her alone. Before being your boyfriend, I am first and foremost a doctor." I nodded. "I know, Dr. Randall. You don't need to explain yourself." He laughed lightly and gently tapped me on the nose. "I know you're angry. But look what I got you." Chapter 5 Behind Adrian was a freshly baked cake. "I said I would make up for your birthday." He smiled at me. "Did you think I forgot?" I looked at the beautifully decorated cake and smiled. I said, "Yeah. I'm quite surprised." "Wendy." He looked at me. "I know you've been upset these past few days. It's my fault for not noticing sooner that something was off. But—" "The cake smells delicious." I cut in, leaning down to take a whiff before turning to him with an outstretched hand. "Did you bring the candles?" He was caught off guard by my interruption but eventually handed me the candles, gazing at me with a look that seemed like he wanted to say something but was holding himself back. I evenly spaced the candles into the frosting. He frowned and said, "Wendy, you—" I extended my hand toward him again. "Where's the lighter?" He looked displeased. Nevertheless, he still handed me the lighter. "Don't talk now. Making a wish is a sacred moment." "Alright." I lit the candles and clasped my hands together. "May I always stay safe and sound." A loud click sounded. It was the sound of a camera shutter that startled me. When I opened my eyes, I saw Adrian's phone camera pointed straight at me. We locked eyes, and for a moment, there was an awkward silence. "Were you taking a picture of me?" I asked. "Yeah." He put the phone down. "I don't know why, but I just felt like I should capture this moment so I could look back on it later. Honestly, I don't even know where that thought came from." I leaned closer. "It wasn't because you sensed something and took the photo because of that, right?" He smiled. "No. If you don't like it, I'll delete it." "No, don't!" I pressed the phone down. "We haven't taken a photo together yet. Let's do it now." He paused, then handed the phone to me. I unlocked the screen and briefly froze. Adrian's screensaver wasn't a photo of me anymore. Instead, it was a photo of him and Katelyn together. In the photo, she had one arm slung around his neck and the other flashing a peace sign. Adrian, who usually hated taking photos, looked slightly annoyed but still went along with her. I had asked him countless times to take a photo with me, but every time, he would frown and say, "Dr. Gilmore, my meetings sometimes require me to share my device's screen. Do you really want everyone to know we're in a relationship?" After that, I would awkwardly pull my hand back, embarrassed. "This—" Adrian was clearly taken aback, too. He frowned, thought for a moment, then sighed. "She must have changed it the last time she played with my phone. Don't mind it." I smiled and said, "What you do with your phone is your business." As I spoke, I launched the camera app. The photo gallery followed, flooding the screen with rows of photos of a couple. There was Katelyn pulling funny faces while holding his face, flashing a peace sign behind his head, and pretending to be angry while he looked on, amused. The poses were varied and countless. My solo photos were nowhere to be found anymore. "Wendy." He paused. "Katelyn loves taking photos. With the condition she's in, I can't keep refusing her." I smiled. "Well, that hurts. Dr. Randall. I've also begged you many times, but you never once agreed." "Wendy…" "You know what? It's fine. Let's just take the picture. Three, two, one, say cheese!" With the click of the shutter, he grabbed my hand. "Wendy, why do you seem off today?" I admired the photo. "Hmm? Is that so?" "Yes." I turned to look at him. Some things were on the tip of my tongue, just waiting to be said.