My Mother's Choice

The day I received my provisional acceptance into a graduate program, my mom came home carrying two shopping bags with the Apple logo on them. She said with a smile, "Since you're both heading to graduate school, I bought each of you a new laptop. It's only fair." My sister eagerly tore open her bag. Inside was the latest MacBook—sleek, lightweight, and beautiful. Then, Mom handed me mine. It was an older model from several years ago, with basic specs and not even a single accessory included. I looked down at the two laptops, the difference between them impossible to ignore. Before I could say anything, Mom gently ruffled my hair. "Sunny, your field doesn't require that much computing power. This one's durable, and it was a great deal. I went to several stores before I found the right one for you, so don't overthink it." She smiled as she spoke, almost hoping I would praise her for all the effort she had made. She did love me. To prove she did not play favorites, she spent a sweltering summer afternoon driving from store to store to find my laptop. However, she had forgotten one thing. My sister and I were in the exact same graduate program. That was when I realized something I should have understood long ago. The love she gave me was always just a little less. From that day on, I stopped hoping it would ever be enough. Chapter 1 Without saying a word, I carried the old, heavy laptop back to my room. Behind me, I heard my mother, Judith Hawkins, laugh with satisfaction. "I told you Sunny was the sensible one. She's never fought with the family over anything, not since she was little." In the weeks leading up to graduate school interviews, my older sister, Fiona Charlton, spent every day hanging out with college friends and shopping for new clothes. Meanwhile, I locked myself in my room and pulled three all-nighters in a row. Professor Wilson from our department had one recommendation slot that guaranteed admission into one of the university's premier research labs. Anyone who earned that spot would also receive early access to the school's most prestigious research projects. I spent three full days researching and writing a detailed proposal. After a rigorous review, it was finally approved. Not long afterward, Professor Wilson's lab sent me a confirmation email. [Because this project requires a significant time commitment, including some weekends and holidays, a parent or legal guardian must sign the attached consent form acknowledging these arrangements.] After dinner, I handed the printed consent form to Mom. She skimmed through it, her brows furrowing slightly. "So, you'd be joining the advanced research lab? And you'd have to work weekends and holidays too? That sounds exhausting. You're about to start graduate school. There's no reason to push yourself this hard." "I don't mind working hard. And this opportunity is incredibly rare. It'll help a lot when I apply for a Ph.D. and when I start looking for a job." I answered simply. Mom nodded, folded the form, and slipped it into her pocket. "All right. I'll read it carefully tonight and sign it for you tomorrow." I believed her. Three days later, the thing I received was not my signed consent form. Instead, I saw Fiona's name on the list of students accepted into Professor Wilson's research lab on the department's website. I stared at the screen for three long seconds before getting up and pushing open the door to Mom's bedroom. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, helping Fiona pick out a dress for graduate school orientation. The two of them were chatting and laughing together. "Why did Professor Wilson's lab position become Fiona's?" I looked straight into Judith's eyes. My voice was so calm that even I was surprised. Mom froze, her hand still holding the dress. Fiona immediately stood up, looking awkward as she avoided my gaze. "Sunny... I didn't know… Mom told me Professor Wilson offered me the position himself—" "Go try on this dress first," Judith interrupted, patting Fiona on the back. "Check yourself in the mirror in the living room." Fiona hesitated for a moment before leaving. As soon as the door closed, Mom let out a long sigh. She walked over to me, her face filled with what looked like both love and helplessness. "Sunny, don't blame me for making the decision without asking you." She reached for my hand. "I contacted Professor Wilson myself. I had your research proposal replaced with Fiona's. After looking through Fiona's undergraduate record, he reluctantly agreed to accept her into the graduate program." I slowly pulled my hand away and stared at her. "That was my spot. I stayed awake for three straight nights researching and writing that proposal just to pass the first round. What gave you the right to hand it to her?" "I know you're upset!" Mom said quickly, trying to calm me down. Her voice softened into the patient tone adults always used when they thought they knew better. "But Sunny, you've always been the smart one. You've always been exceptional. Even if you don't get into this lab, you'll still have plenty of chances. Whether it's for another graduate program, a PhD, or overseas studies, you'll earn scholarships. You'll have a bright future no matter what. "However, Fiona is different." Chapter 2 Mom let out a sigh, her brows knitted tightly together. "Fiona's grades were average all through college. If she were to apply to graduate school on her own, she would have a hard time getting into a good program. "If she doesn't get into this lab, she'll probably struggle to find even a decent job after graduation. She's never had much confidence in herself. If she takes another hit, she'll completely fall apart." "So, the opportunity that I worked myself to the bone for should just be handed over to her?" I shot back calmly. "What do you mean, handed over? I'm protecting her!" Mom raised her voice, sounding as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're her younger sister. What's wrong with helping Fiona? Your research proposal was so well written. Once it was submitted under Fiona's name, of course, Professor Wilson thought more highly of her. "With this lab experience on her résumé, it'll be much easier for her to find a job or apply to graduate school later. "It's different for you. With your ability, even if you lose this opportunity, you'll earn an even better one someday. Fiona can't, and we're family. Why do you have to keep score over everything?" I looked at her and suddenly found the whole situation so absurd that it was almost funny. "So, because I'm more capable, I deserve to lose what's mine? And because she's weaker, she gets to take everything I fought so hard for without feeling guilty?" "How can you say something so cruel?" Mom frowned, looking completely disappointed that I was being so 'petty'. "Enough. It's already settled. Professor Wilson has submitted the final list. There's no changing it now." She sighed again before adding, "I know you're hurting. Tonight, I'll make your favorite roast beef to make it up to you, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, she waved me off impatiently and headed into the kitchen. At dinner, she smiled as she placed a large slice of roast beef onto my plate. "Go on, try it. I made this especially for you. It was roasted for hours, and it's delicious." I picked up my knife and fork, cut off a piece, and took a bite. The first thing I tasted was the rich flavor of rosemary—Fiona's favorite herb. "Well? Is it good?" Mom asked expectantly. "It is." I swallowed the bite and cut off another piece. I simply sat there in silence. I did not flip the table, and I did not ask why she had cooked it the way Fiona liked instead of the way I did. Bite by bite, I finished the entire plate of roast beef that had been made entirely to Fiona's taste. It did not make me sick, and I did not burst into tears or run out of the house. There was only a dull ache spreading through my chest. When I finished the last bite, I set down my knife and fork, quietly rose from the table, and headed back to my room. There was no argument and no dramatic outburst. I simply grabbed a change of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. Half an hour later, I was drying my hair as I pushed open my bedroom door. My footsteps stopped cold. Fiona was sitting at my desk with her back to me. She had a flash drive in one hand and was frantically working on my computer. "What are you doing?" I asked, my voice icy. Fiona jumped so hard that her whole body shook. She spun around, her face turning ghostly pale. Her first instinct was to yank out the flash drive. However, I was already beside her. I grabbed her wrist before she could. A progress bar was moving across the screen. "Sunny... I... I was just looking..." Fiona stammered, unable to meet my eyes. "Do you even understand what you're looking at?" I demanded. "You got Professor Wilson's lab position, but you can't even understand the research materials he sent you, can you? "So, while I was taking a shower, you sneaked in here to steal the core notes I spent three sleepless nights putting together?" Embarrassment instantly turned into anger, and Fiona struggled to pull free. "What do you mean, steal? Mom said this project belongs to me now! If you won't let me see it, how am I supposed to join the graduate research team when school starts? Are you trying to ruin me?" "Those are my notes! Get out!" I shoved her away and reached for my computer. Her eyes went red with panic as she lunged for the keyboard. "Give it to me! You just want to watch me embarrass myself, don't you?" She stumbled. Her hand flailed wildly through the air. The glass of water on my desk toppled over, spilling across my computer keyboard. A sharp electrical crackle echoed through the room. The screen flickered twice before going completely black, leaving me frozen where I stood. For one terrifying moment, my mind went blank. "What's going on? Why are you two making so much noise this late at night?" Hearing the commotion, Mom rushed into the room. The moment Fiona saw her, her eyes instantly filled with tears. She burst into sobs and immediately accused me. Chapter 3 "Mom! I just wanted to learn from Sunny's way of thinking. I was scared I wouldn't be able to keep up once school starts, and I didn't want to disappoint you. But instead of helping me, Sunny kept treating me like the enemy. She even pushed me... "I accidentally knocked over the water, and her computer got ruined..." Mom looked at the computer with its dead black screen, then she looked at Fiona, whose face was streaked with tears. Her expression immediately darkened. She did not scold Fiona for sneaking into my room and stealing my work, and she did not ask about the months of effort that had just been destroyed. Instead, she frowned and turned to me with obvious irritation. "Sunny! Fiona is about to start graduate school under Professor Wilson. What's wrong with her looking at your notes? That research proposal belongs to Fiona now. Why won't you hand it over? "She's your sister, not your enemy. We're family. Family is supposed to help each other, not guard against each other. I never imagined you'd be so coldhearted." "She destroyed all my research!" My whole body shook with anger. "It's just an old laptop! Do you really have to make such a big deal out of it?" Mom raised her voice, drowning mine out. "So what if the files are gone? They're still in your head, aren't they? You're so smart. Just write them all over again." "What did you just say?" My voice trembled. Mom replied without the slightest guilt, "I said you're going to rewrite that entire research proposal from memory tonight. Think of it as a back-to-school gift for your sister. "If she can't keep up during her first week... If she gets discouraged or falls into depression because she struggles with the research team... I'll cut off your living expenses." I looked at the two of them. Fiona stood behind Mom, unable to hide the smug satisfaction in her eyes. Mom stood there as though she were completely justified, demanding that I hand over everything I had fought so hard to earn. It was as if my dreams, my career, and my future were nothing more than gifts she could give away whenever she pleased. An icy chill crept up my spine. Then, all at once, my heartbeat steadied. There was no anger, no heartbreak. "Okay." My voice was calm. Mom blinked, clearly surprised that I had agreed so easily. The tension in her face eased. "That's more like it. I knew you'd be the reasonable one. Stop arguing with your sister all the time. All right, get started. Just don't stay up too late." The door closed behind them. I turned around. Looking at my completely ruined computer, I did not shed a single tear. Instead, I picked up my phone. I opened an email that had been sitting quietly in my inbox for weeks. It was an official admission letter from one of the top universities on the other side of the world. Due to my grades and research experience, they had not only admitted me but also awarded me a full scholarship that covered all of my tuition and living expenses. Until now, I had still been hesitating. I was not sure whether the savings I had worked so hard to build over the years would be enough for me to start a new life alone in another country. However, at that moment, as I looked at the ruined laptop, I did not hesitate for even a second. I tapped 'Accept Offer'. Then, I logged into my university's student portal. I submitted my request to withdraw from the graduate program at my current university. Next, I pulled a small suitcase from the bottom drawer of my closet. Quietly, I began packing the few things that truly belonged to me. For the next two days, I deliberately stayed out of Mom's and Fiona's way. Finally, the day before orientation day at my graduate school arrived. I went back to my room to retrieve the one thing that mattered most—the bank card hidden beneath the false bottom of my desk drawer. It held every scholarship I had earned through years of studying, along with the money I had saved working at a fast-food restaurant during my summer and winter breaks. It was my tuition, my living expenses, my only way out. However, when I pulled open the drawer, it was empty. Panic surged through me as I yanked every drawer open and searched every corner of the room. Nothing. The bank card was gone. I rushed into the living room, where Mom was helping Fiona pack. Two expensive suitcases sat on the floor, crammed with brand-new clothes and everything Fiona would need for school. In Mom's hands was the latest professional camera. "Where's my bank card?" I stared at her. Without even looking up, Mom continued packing. "Oh, that card? I took your ID to the bank yesterday and transferred all the money out of the account." Chapter 4 "Transferred it out? That was the education fund Dad left for me! It was supposed to pay for my future!" "Enough! Stop bringing up your father!" Mom cut me off impatiently. "Fiona is about to join Professor Wilson's lab. The students there either come from wealthy families or have every advantage in life. She can't show up wearing old clothes and carrying cheap things while everyone else has the best. "These are necessary expenses. We're a little short on money right now, so I just borrowed yours for the time being. I'll pay you back when we have the money." "What gave you the right to touch my education fund?" I finally lost control, my voice shaking with rage. "Because I'm your mother!" Mom exploded too. She shot to her feet and pointed a finger at me. "I raised you all these years. Don't I have the right to decide how a little of your money is used? Besides, your grades are excellent. Once school starts, you can apply for scholarships, financial aid, or even student loans. "You'll figure something out. However, Fiona is different. She's never been as strong as you. She can't handle that kind of hardship." She had taken my place. She had destroyed everything I had worked for. Now, she was cutting off the very last lifeline I had left. I stopped arguing. My eyes locked on Mom's open handbag on the couch. My ID and the few hundred dollars I had left were inside. I rushed over and grabbed the bag, digging through it. "Have you lost your mind?" Mom screamed and lunged at me, clamping both hands around my arm. "Give me my ID! Give me my money back!" I shouted. "You're really going to fight me over this little bit of money? I can't believe you've become like this." Mom glared at me. The money had never been what she could not accept. What she could not accept was that, for the first time in my life, I had refused to obey her. Blazing with anger, she shoved me with all her strength. "Get out of my way!" I was completely unprepared. I lost my balance and was thrown backward. A sickening crack echoed through the living room as my lower back slammed into a sharp corner of the coffee table, sending a jolt of pain shooting through my spine. Within seconds, cold sweat soaked through the back of my shirt. I gasped with my mouth wide open, struggling to breathe. The pain was so intense that my body reacted on its own. My stomach churned violently, and I began dry heaving uncontrollably. Just then, a car horn sounded outside. Fiona called from downstairs in her sweet, sugary voice. "Mom! Hurry up! We're going to be late! We can't be late for the meeting with Professor Wilson!" Mom stood there, looking down at me as I lay on the floor, trembling in agony. For a split second, panic flashed across her face. Only for a second, however. Then, it disappeared beneath cold indifference and annoyance. She straightened the wrinkles in her clothes that I had pulled out of place. "It's just an ID. Do you really think having it is going to change anything?" She let out a mocking laugh, pulled my ID from her bag, and casually tossed it onto the floor. "Stop acting so fragile. You just bumped into something. How serious could it possibly be? "Put some ice on it or rub on a little pain cream. You'll be fine. I'm taking Fiona to school to finish her enrollment. When I get back tonight, we're going to have a serious talk about your attitude." Without another glance at me, she turned around and walked out the front door. The door slammed shut. I lay on the floor for more than ten minutes before I could finally move again. Clenching my teeth until my jaw ached, I forced myself to endure the blinding pain that nearly made me pass out. Using the edge of the coffee table for support, I slowly pulled myself to my feet. I bent over and picked up my ID from the floor, then I walked to the dining table. I placed my old laptop on top of it. Beneath the laptop was an itemized ledger I had prepared long ago. Every dollar Mom had spent on my tuition, living expenses, and every other cost since high school had been carefully recorded. Down to the last cent. On the final page were two lines. [I will repay every cent, with interest. From this day forward, we owe each other nothing.] I pulled my packed suitcase behind me without looking back at the house even once. Limping with every step, I walked out the front door and headed for the bus station, in the exact opposite direction from where Fiona was beginning her new life.