Longing Beyond The Deep

When Stella Everette's junior went looking for death again, I knew she would come to peel off my skin next. It had been this way for a hundred years. Her beloved, Louie Linfield, kept throwing himself into the demon cave, trying to die for the lover he had lost there. Every time, Stella saved him and used the healthy skin from my body to replace his flesh that was burned away by the primordial flames. The skin on my body had been replaced repeatedly. There wasn't a single patch of untouched skin left. Only my face still looked somewhat like it had before. But this time, Louie burned half his face. When Stella locked me in the demon realm's prison and used torture tools to tear the skin from my entire face, there wasn't a trace of warmth in her eyes. "Lucian, Louie is my mentor's only blood relative left, and he once saved my life. You're my husband. Isn't it only right for you to help me?" She hurried away with my blood-soaked skin, leaving me alone in the lightless prison. She had forgotten that I had lost all my demonic power. I could no longer grow new skin, and I couldn't withstand the corrosive demonic energy in this place. The freezing demonic energy pierced through my entire body, tearing into what little flesh I had left. With the last bit of strength I had, I took the beaded bracelet from my wrist and pressed it against my chest. Whispering, I called out to my mentor, "I want to go home." Chapter 1 Stella Everette remembered me three days later. She hurried to the prison and found me sitting in a corner, fully healed and writing something. "Lucian, I'm here to take you home," she said. I put away the piece of parchment in my hand. Unlike before, I didn't angrily demand to know why she had treated me this way. I simply nodded, walked out of the cell, and left her behind. Stella watched me walk away, her brows furrowing in irritation. She thought I had no reason to throw such a childish tantrum just because she had forgotten to let me out. With that thought, she quickly caught up to me and explained, her voice edged with irritation. "Louie wasn't doing well, and his injuries were worse this time. I was so busy taking care of him that I lost track of time. That's why I didn't let you out sooner." When I still didn't answer, her frown deepened. Her tone grew reproachful. "If I didn't come, couldn't you have found a way out yourself? "You expect me to think everything for you, but you're not a child anymore. Stop relying on me for everything." Suddenly, I remembered the day that marked five hundred years since Stella saved me. She had gone alone to Mount Skyven for a crimson lotus I loved. She came back covered in blood. I cried and told her she had been reckless and childish, but she merely kissed me on the lips and said, "Happy 500th birthday, my Lucian. I'll always be by your side." I had endured 100 years of being skinned alive because I couldn't let go of the Stella who had once loved me so earnestly. Now, it was time for me to leave. I stopped looking at her and headed for my room, but Stella stepped in front of me. She stepped in front of me and spoke coldly. "Louie is too weak. Only your blood essence can make him feel better." 100 years ago, after Louie Linfield's first failed suicide attempt, he never woke up. Stella was frantic. I couldn't bear to watch her lose the only family she had left, so I gave Louie the blood essence my mentor had given me to keep me alive. It turned out Stella hadn't come today because she was worried about me in the prison. She had come for the blood essence that could save Louie's life. I stepped back and looked at her from a distance of one arm's length. I softly asked, "If I give you my blood essence, will you end our engagement?" I didn't want to return home, still bound to her by our contract. Stella's expression darkened, and she reached out to grab me. But when she touched my scarred palm, she quickly pulled her hand back. I gave a bitter laugh. This body covered in ugly scars was indeed hard to look at. Ever since Stella saw the scar running across my chest 100 years ago, she had never touched me again. I still remembered the look in her eyes back then. Her gaze was filled with shock, fear, and disgust. She had fallen from the bed and didn't even dare look at me. After making up a flimsy excuse, she had fled. But hadn't she been the one who had torn that wound open? Stella frowned at me. After hesitating for a long moment, she reached out to me once again and grabbed my sleeve. "Lucian, stop being difficult. Louie is too sick to wait while you carry on like this." Ignoring my resistance, she restrained me with her demonic power and took me to Louie's room. She used the dagger I had gifted her to cut open my wrist and forced out the last drop of my blood essence. Then she gently fed it to Louie. Completely drained of strength, I collapsed onto the floor as the world around me blurred. All I could see was Stella's gentle, concerned gaze. She was staring at Louie lying in bed and didn't spare me even a glance. How could she possibly remember what I had told her when I gave her the dagger? "Stella, this dagger is the only thing in this world that can kill me," I said. At the time, she carefully stored the dagger, promising me that she would never let anyone hurt me. The truth was, I had already chosen to trust her before she even said those words. I just never imagined that one day, she would use my trust to cut me nine times. The blood essence my mentor had given me to protect my life was exactly nine drops. Before I passed out, I remembered what my mentor had said to me in the prison. "Seven days from now, once Lucian Veyne's body dies, Kieran can go home." Lucian is me, and so is Kieran. In four more days, I would return to the High Heavens. Chapter 2 When I woke up, I was in the room Stella and I shared. Stella was sitting at the desk across from me, taking care of sect business. She hadn't noticed I was awake. She was still as beautiful as ever, even though a thousand years had changed her. The youthful innocence was gone, replaced by the confidence and authority of the Demon Queen. Maybe she felt me watching her, because she soon turned around. The moment our eyes met, I could clearly see the impatience in her eyes. "Are you feeling better?" She gave nothing away as she asked, and she didn't even turn to face me. I lay back down and murmured, "Yes." It had been nearly 300 years since she had stayed in my room this late. Even now, she was just as distant as ever. I had tried countless ways to get her to spend more time with me. I had even swallowed my pride and begged her to stay in front of the other demons. Every time, she had given me the same answer. "Can't you be sensible for once?" I hadn't always been this weak. Once, I had been a powerful figure across the three realms. Even the lowliest demons had shown me respect. Because of Stella, I had given up my powers and blood essence. I had become a useless man who could only live at her mercy. Neither of us said a word, and the silence between us grew tense. After a long while, a guard knocked on the door. "My lady, Mr. Linfield is coughing up blood again." Stella tightened her grip on the pen and turned toward me. She ordered, "You're coming with me." I shook my head. "Stella, I don't have any blood essence left." Refusing to believe me, she grabbed me and pulled me out of bed. "Can't you be more understanding? Louie is my junior." Everything I had kept buried for so long finally erupted. I dug my nails into my palm and shouted at her, "Is he really just your junior, or is he your lover?" At first, I never once questioned the fact that Louie was Stella's junior. But over time, I began to realize that wasn't the whole story. One casual remark from him about disliking snow blossoms was enough for Stella to destroy the entire mountainside I had filled with blooms for her. She remembered everything he said, even the things he mentioned without a second thought. She worried he couldn't handle the cold, so she warmed his bed for him every night. When Louie first jumped into the demon cave, she followed him without hesitation. I couldn't fool myself anymore. Stella's expression turned ashen with anger. She squeezed my hand so hard that I thought my bones would break. "Lucian, how dare you accuse Louie like that?" Even then, she was still more concerned with protecting Louie's reputation. Tears slipped down my face and landed on my scars. The pain was excruciating. We stood there facing each other until a quiet, distant voice broke the silence. "Stella, maybe I should leave. Lucian could never stand having me around." Louie leaned against the doorway, his eyes wet with tears. They hadn't fallen yet, but he looked so pitiful that anyone would feel sorry for him. He wore my face, and every inch of skin on his body had been taken from me. Yet he never missed a chance to make himself look hurt. I frowned and was about to speak when he suddenly let out a scream. Stella immediately pulled him tightly into her arms and gently patted his back. When she looked back at me, she frowned and snapped, "Just look at you. You look like some kind of monster!" I stared blankly into the bronze mirror beside me and was shocked by my own reflection. The corners of my mouth had split open. My skin was cracked and raw, and my eyes were bloodshot. I did look like a monster. After Stella took my last drop of blood essence, my demonic power was so weak that I couldn't even maintain the simplest disguise. I quickly turned away. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. But Stella completely ignored my distress and focused on comforting Louie, who was quietly sobbing in her arms. "It's okay. Don't be scared. I won't let him show up in front of you ever again, alright?" Louie playfully tapped her shoulder. "Lucian is your husband. We're bound to see each other whether we want to or not." "That's fine. If you don't want to see him, I'll just make sure he doesn't leave this room," Stella said. Their voices slowly faded away. Then I sank back into the bed. Chapter 3 Just then, Snowdrop, who had been peeking at me from outside the door, quietly slipped inside. She was my only friend in the mortal world. I instinctively tried to hide, but she still saw me in this state. She stood there for a long moment before bursting into tears. As she sobbed, she came over and pulled my hands away from my face, smearing her tears and snot all over me. "Lucian, how did you end up like this? You look terrible!" she cried. "You've always cared so much about your appearance." I sighed to myself, but all I could do was gently stroke her face and smile as I told her I was fine. A sudden warmth spread through my palm. I looked down and saw that Snowdrop had placed her demon core in my hand. "Lucian, you can protect me from now on," she said. I couldn't fight her off, and she forced the demon core into my mouth. The depleted spiritual energy within me was instantly replenished, and my face quickly returned to normal. As I held Snowdrop in her true form, I remembered I still had a restoration elixir I had made in a cave somewhere. But before I could even step outside, a strong demonic power knocked me back. I stood there stunned for a long while before remembering what Stella had said. She wouldn't let me leave the room again. She had sealed the room with a magical barrier, leaving me confined inside. I quietly carried Snowdrop back to the bed, then took out my sheet of parchment and crossed off my plans one by one. Then I added one more. Take Snowdrop to the High Heavens. Snowdrop hopped onto my lap and asked, "What's all this?" I stared at the parchment, my thoughts drifting back to the past. During the thousand years Stella and I spent traveling the mortal world together, we went almost everywhere. But we were always on our way to some battle or another, so we never had time to stop and try the local food. Back then, she told me that once she became the Demon Queen, we would get married. She would travel with me, try all kinds of food, and see the sights in every place we visited. But later, Louie came back. It seemed she had forgotten everything between us overnight. All she left me was a promise that we would get married someday. I gently stroked Snowdrop's head and smiled faintly. "These are the nine things I want to do before I leave." However, I never expected to end up confined here, unable to complete even one of them. It was all right. At least I could still do this one last thing. My mentor would surely like Snowdrop too. The night breeze drifted through the curtains around my bed. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep again. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I felt my arm grow lighter. I reached out, but my hand closed around nothing but lingering warmth. Early the next morning, the door was open, but Snowdrop was nowhere to be found. I told myself she must have gone out to play. Snowdrop had always loved to run around. But for some reason, I couldn't shake an uneasy feeling. By noon, she still hadn't come back. I could only stop a demon who happened to be hurrying past and beg him to help me find Snowdrop. The young flower demon couldn't refuse because I was Stella's fiancé, but he rolled his eyes and clearly wanted nothing to do with me. I was already used to being treated that way, so I took off the amulet Stella had given me when we pledged ourselves to each other and handed it to him. It was the last valuable thing I had left. "Please just help me find her. She's a little white rabbit with a black mark shaped like a flower on her right foot." The flower demon's eyes lit up, and he quickly snatched the amulet from my hand. "Just so we're clear, I'm keeping this even if I don't find her." I hurriedly nodded and thanked him over and over. I sat by the door and waited for two days, but there was still no word about Snowdrop. Instead, Stella came. She waved her hand and lifted the barrier. Then she took a food box from her arms, opened it, and held it out to me. Inside were the savory hand pies I had wanted most from my list. "Lucian…" I knocked the food box from her hands, sending the savory hand pies scattering across the floor. While Stella stood there stunned, I took off running. All I wanted to do was find Snowdrop as quickly as possible. But I was in such poor shape that Stella caught up to me almost right away. She grabbed me by the shoulder and snapped, "What the hell are you doing now?" Snowdrop's scent was close by, but sensing it only made me more anxious. There was a smell of blood mixed with it. I could only cry and beg Stella. "Stella, please help me. Help me find Snowdrop." She hesitated and gently wiped the tears from my face, then spoke to me softly. "Lucian, be good. Let's go back to the room first." Ignoring my struggles, she took my hand in hers and gently stroked my wrist, trying to comfort me. When she realized my wrist was bare, Stella froze for a moment. She raised our joined hands, her expression hardening. "Where's the amulet?" Chapter 4 Stella's grip tightened until I thought my hand would break. The look she gave me was full of rage. "Do you hate me that much? You couldn't even bear to keep the keepsake we shared?" When I pressed my lips together and refused to answer, green demonic energy rose from Stella's body. It spread in every direction. Before long, Stella brought back the young flower demon who had taken my amulet. But he was now nothing more than a dead branch, with the amulet hanging from it. Stella pulled the amulet to her from across the room, her anger growing even stronger. She didn't even respond when Louie called her from nearby. She kept her eyes on me and asked, "Why? Who were you giving this amulet to?" Her demonic energy forced me to my knees, and blood began seeping from my eyes again. Even my voice came out broken. "I asked him to help me find Snowdrop. This was his payment." Stella suddenly lifted my chin. Her tone was low and furious. "You gave our keepsake away just for some worthless rabbit?" I stayed silent and quietly gathered my demonic power, trying to break free from Stella's hold. Then Snowdrop's scent grew increasingly stronger until it seemed to be right in front of me. I looked up and saw Louie walk over to Stella with a white scarf around his neck. He took hold of the hand she still had clenched around mine. "Stella, look. I took the fur from that rabbit and made it into a scarf. How does it look?" As Louie said this, he looked straight at me with a smug smile. That was Snowdrop! He pointed at the scarf with a smile and asked me, "Lucian, did you get to eat the savory hand pies? This little rabbit ran until her legs broke just to bring them back. "She got blood everywhere. It even stained my favorite robe. But I really like her fur, so I won't blame you for not training your pet properly." Hatred filled me from within. My insides twisted with pain, but none of it compared to the agony in my chest. In my daze, I heard Snowdrop's words again. "Lucian, you can protect me from now on." I coughed up blood, and everything went black. When I woke up, my palm was warm. I looked down and saw Stella asleep beside my bed, holding my hand. I pulled my hand away and stared blankly out the window. In another two hours, I could finally go home. Sadly, I still hadn't completed the last wish on my list. Startled awake by my movement, Stella rubbed her eyes and reached for my hand without thinking. Her voice was hoarse, but it held a tenderness that I hadn't heard in a long time. "Lucian, I'll be your best friend from now on, okay?" I didn't answer and kept staring out the window. After a long silence, I finally looked at her. "Stella, come sit with me at Starwatch Tower." My mentor had said it was the fastest way to get home from here. On the way there, Stella kept holding my hand and reminiscing about everything we had been through together. Starwatch Tower was the highest place in the demon realm. From there, I could see every road Stella and I had traveled together. Just as we reached the final step, a guard came rushing after us. "My lady, Mr. Linfield says he's willing to die to make up for the pain he caused Lord Veyne. He's heading to the demon cave now!" Stella hesitated for a moment, but when the guard urged her to hurry, she flew toward the demon cave. Before she left, she gently kissed my forehead. "Lucian, when I come back, I'll give you a wedding blessed by every demon. Then I'll stay home and take care of our family. Would you like that?" A wedding with Stella was once my greatest wish. But now, her promise only felt pointless to me. Before I could answer, she hurried away. The moment Stella stepped outside Starwatch Tower, her heart jolted. She had a sudden feeling that the most important thing in her life was about to leave her. When she returned to Starwatch Tower, I had just jumped from the highest point. I landed right in front of her. A drop of blood splashed into her eye. Stella's eyes widened in shock as she screamed and rushed to the edge of the cliff. "No!"