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In the Silence Where Love Once Lived, Only Traces of Pain Remain
NovelShort
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For five years, Edmund Montague and I had shared something I thought was love, but he never allowed me to call it what it was, not in front of anyone. When my best friend stood up for me, he dismissed...
章節（7）
第1章
For five years, Edmund Montague and I had shared something I thought was love, but he never allowed me to call it what it was, not in front of anyone.
When my best friend stood up for me, he dismissed it coldly, his words slicing through me like a blade.
"This mess you made, fix it yourself," he said with disdain.
"And if you can’t sort it out, don’t even think about returning to me."
The final blow came later when I saw him with my own eyes, holding the face of his first love with a gentleness I could only dream of.
His voice, steady and heartfelt, drove the knife in deeper. "I don’t have a girlfriend. The one I’ve been waiting for… it’s always been you."
At last, exhaustion weighed me down and I chose to walk away.
But then, as if clinging to a script he’d written for us, he boldly declared to everyone that he was planning to propose.
"Victoria, are you certain this time?"
My mentor’s voice over the phone was firm, carrying the gravity of the decision ahead.
"If you commit to the Antarctic expedition now, there’s no going back."
***
Victoria glanced at the phone screen, where a photo of her with her senior colleagues beneath a towering glacier gleamed. The sunlight pierced through the ice, casting a luminous glow on their faces, like flowers blooming in the heart of winter, radiant, alive and full of promise.
But now…
Victoria stared at her reflection on the black screen. The face staring back at her was weary, shadowed by exhaustion and a quiet desolation. It was time to let go.
“I’m certain,” she said softly, her voice gentle but laced with unshakable resolve.
“I’ll send you the application form shortly.”
“What application form?”
The sound of the door unlocking interrupted her conversation and before she could respond, Edmund strode in with hurried steps.
Victoria Windsor quickly ended the call with her professor, offering a few polite words before turning to him. “Just applying for a new research project. Nothing important.”
Her tone was casual, but her heart raced. She was referring to the three-year Antarctic expedition, a chance of a lifetime, both professionally and personally.
As the faint rustle of shoes being kicked off reached her ears, Edmund was suddenly in front of her. With one swift motion, he leaned down and encircled her in a firm embrace, keeping her seated in her chair.
His warm breath brushed against her neck, teasing her skin with an intimacy that always conflicted her.
“Apply for whatever you want,” he murmured, his tone deceptively light. “But don’t even think about Antarctica. A girl like you, running off with a bunch of men to the ends of the earth? How could I ever feel at ease?”
Victoria’s chest tightened. The Antarctic expedition had been approved six months earlier. It was a golden opportunity—her professor’s recommendation, her perfectly aligned research and the promise of career-altering discoveries. She had been a shoo-in for the project, the professor’s favored choice.
But Edmund had refused.
He had ripped her application form into shreds, ignored countless calls from her professor and plunged them into a cold war.
“If you’re so determined to go, then we don’t need to see each other anymore!” he had declared, his words like a dagger to her resolve.
And in the end, she gave in. She sent her professor a heartfelt apology. The email had gone unanswered.
Victoria knew why. Her professor, usually kind and understanding, had been deeply hurt. The silence stretched for two long weeks before they spoke again.
That was Edmund. He refused to give her an official place in his life, yet he kept her bound tightly, refusing to let her drift too far.
And she, despite herself, couldn’t muster the courage to fight back.
But this time, no force in the world could stop her. Not even Edmund.
Victoria stood still, her silence louder than words, her hand no longer reaching out to brush his forehead as it once had, a tender gesture now lost in time.
Edmund’s brow furrowed in confusion. For a fleeting moment, he seemed unsure, but then a familiar spark of determination lit his eyes. Like a magician conjuring a spell, he revealed a bouquet of blue roses from behind his back, their petals glowing like fragments of a dream.
“I promised to meet you for lunch,” he began, his voice gentle, laced with an attempt at charm, “but something came up at school. I couldn’t make it in time.”
With a small flourish, he extended the bouquet toward her with a sheepish grin. “This is my apology. Don’t stay mad, okay?”
Victoria’s gaze flickered to the roses, her expression faltering. For a moment, just a moment, her eyes softened. The vivid blue of the flowers mirrored a time when his gestures had meant the world to her.
第2章
Just twenty minutes earlier, a message from Isabella Lancaster lit up her phone screen.
The attached photo was hard to miss. Isabella, with her radiant smile, held a bouquet of roses identical to the ones now resting before her.
[I told Edmund I wanted blue roses. He ditched you to scour the city for them. But honestly, I lost interest once he bought them. Thought he might as well hand them to you instead.]
The truth stung. What lay before her was a cast-off, something discarded, handed over as an afterthought.
Much like Edmund, standing there now, looking at her with that same shallow sincerity.
Victoria’s lips curved faintly as she accepted the roses, placing them on the table with a casual grace.
"I’m not mad. I just got a little hungry while waiting."
"Then I’ll whip up some soup for you! I’ll fry an egg, too.”
Noticing her composed demeanor, he relaxed. But before he could step toward the kitchen, his phone buzzed, breaking the moment.
"I’ll be right there!" he answered swiftly.
Ending the call, Edmund walked briskly to the entryway. "Something urgent came up at school. I’ll order you some takeout later."
It was the same excuse he had used before, but Victoria didn’t seem fazed.
"Alright," she replied with an easy smile. "Be careful on your way."
Her eyes lingered on the empty doorway after he left. It was all too familiar, last night, he had bolted out after a similar call, leaving even his jacket behind.
Concerned by the biting chill of the night, she grabbed his jacket and hurried after him. She called his name repeatedly, her voice echoing into the stillness, but Edmund never returned. Even his phone remained unreachable, its silence mocking her attempts.
Left with no choice, she hailed a cab and followed him. The trail led her to a bar, where the sight awaiting her stopped her cold. Edmund cradled a drunken Isabella in his arms, his movements tender, his tone laced with worry.
"Why would you come to a place like this to drink alone in the dead of night?" he scolded softly. "Don’t you know how dangerous it is? I worry about you!"
The neon lights outside cast an ethereal glow on Isabella’s already captivating face, highlighting her beauty in a way that made her seem almost otherworldly.
"But you already have a girlfriend. Why do you even care about me?"
"If you keep this up, she’s going to get jealous," Isabella slurred, her words tangled in her drunken haze.
There was no sense in explaining things to someone in such a state. Yet, Edmund still made the effort, carefully tilting Isabella’s head back and speaking clearly. "I don’t have a girlfriend. The one I’ve been waiting for... has always been you."
After five years of shared moments and unspoken promises, she didn’t even deserve a title. If that was the case, what was left to hold on to?
The application form had already been completed; only Edmund had destroyed the original. With a swift resolve, Victoria rewrote it and personally delivered it to her mentor’s office.
The older woman’s surprise was evident when she saw her so soon. "I thought you’d take more time to think it over.”
Her mentor had always regarded her highly.
Though she was a woman, her resilience and determination could outshine even the most hardened men. Once Victoria set her sights on something, nothing could deter her; she pursued it with all the fire in her soul.
But this same tenacity had kept her bound to someone even when everyone else had given up. She poured all her heart and passion into him, ignoring the cost to her own future.
Victoria offered an apologetic smile. "I didn’t live up to your expectations before and was being reckless with my own life."
"But now, I’ve made my choice."
"From now on, I will only do what I truly love."
Her mentor’s face finally softened at those words, a warm smile spreading across her features.
"That’s good, that’s good!"
"There’s still half a month before you leave. Be sure you’re fully prepared."
As Victoria left the office, a sense of clarity settled over her, as if the weight had been lifted.
She called her parents and a few close friends, sharing the news of her decision.
Her best friend was taken aback, her surprise evident in her voice.
第3章
"Edmund agreed to let you go to Antarctica?"
"Why would I need his permission to go anywhere?"
"But aren’t you and he...?"
"Edmund and I are just friends."
Victoria didn’t even flinch as the words left her lips. To her surprise, she felt a strange calmness wash over her.
She understood why her best friend had asked.
For the past five years, she had loved Edmund with everything she had.
She had learned to cook, do the laundry, handle housework, all for him.
When he said he preferred girls in dresses, she tossed out all her jeans and jackets, replacing them with an endless collection of frilly gowns.
When he said he didn’t want their relationship to be public, fearing it might interfere with his studies, she kept quiet, fading into the shadows as the quiet woman behind him.
Even though everyone knew they were living together, Edmund never acknowledged her on social media.
Not a single photo of her appeared in his posts.
Everyone knew they were together, yet they also knew that Victoria wasn’t Edmund’s girlfriend.
Despite this, she had sacrificed her chance to join the Antarctic research team for him.
Some whispered behind her back, mocking her as a lovesick puppy.
Others said she’d never be anything more than what she was to him now.
Back then, Victoria didn’t care.
Now, she cared even less.
On the other end of the phone, her best friend let out a relieved sigh.
"It’s good to hear you’re thinking like this."
"When Isabella went abroad, Edmund couldn’t get her off his mind. And now that she’s back, he’s practically wagging his tail, begging for her forgiveness."
"If we’re being polite, we’d call it sentimental. But if we’re being honest, he’s just greedy, eating from one bowl while eyeing the next."
"Those two are a match made in hell. I just hope they stay together and leave the rest of us in peace."
Victoria couldn’t help but laugh aloud, but her laughter was cut short when a familiar voice called her name.
"Victoria?"
She looked up and saw Isabella, arm linked with Edmund’s, walking toward her.
"I thought it looked like you. It really is!"
Isabella’s smile danced with mischief, while Edmund looked visibly uncomfortable, his hand instinctively trying to pull away. "Victoria? What brings you here?"
Victoria’s eyes fell on the bowl of food Edmund was holding. He didn’t like buffalo wings, so they were clearly for Isabella.
Isabella noticed Victoria’s glance and explained with a deliberate, almost teasing tone, "I suddenly craved buffalo wings, so Edmund came with me to grab some."
"I’m sorry for being gone so long; I couldn’t even remember where the restaurant was."
"I hope you’re not upset I took him away."
Though it sounded like an explanation, it carried the sharp edge of a taunt.
"Why would I be upset? We’re all friends," Victoria replied with a calm, composed smile.
"But what a coincidence, I was here for buffalo wings too. After all..."
Her gaze swept over the pair before continuing, "After all, my takeout still hasn’t arrived. I wonder if it got delivered to the wrong address."
Her words made Edmund furrow his brow and just as he opened his mouth to explain, Victoria waved at them brightly.
"But now that I smell yours, I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. The meat doesn’t seem fresh; it smells slightly off."
"Well, I’ll be going now. Enjoy your meal."
Back at her apartment, the evening had already settled in.
As her eyes swept around the familiar space, the scattered remnants of their shared life made her feel momentarily unmoored.
She and Edmund had met in their sophomore year.
Though they studied different subjects and were in separate departments, fate had brought them together in the same classroom.
第4章
As Victoria closed her umbrella, the edge brushed against Edmund’s chest, a light graze that felt heavier than it should have.
Rain had already soaked through the thin fabric of his shirt, leaving faint, damp patches scattered across his chest.
Flustered, Victoria stumbled over her apology, but her words faltered when she caught Edmund’s gaze; his eyes, damp but piercing, held a quiet intensity.
His thick lashes framed those strikingly clear eyes; their corners tinged with a faint redness from the sting of the rain.
"It’s fine. I was walking too fast," he said, his voice low, yet it resonated within her, stirring something deep.
Falling for him had felt effortless, as though it had always been meant to happen.
Victoria memorized the name on the cover of his textbook, traced his school and class and eventually learned about the ex-girlfriend he’d broken up with when she went abroad.
But none of that diminished her enthusiasm, not even for a moment.
She had always loved with all her heart and hated with equal clarity.
Over time, Edmund had unknowingly grown accustomed to having her in his life.
They ate together, sat side by side in every class, celebrated every holiday and gradually embraced each other in every sense.
That night, Edmund kissed every inch of her skin as though he was trying to merge her into his very soul.
Again and again, he whispered her name, "Victoria, Victoria..."
"Promise me, you’ll never leave me!"
At that moment, Victoria truly believed that they would be together forever.
Now, as she fed their photographs into the shredder one by one, her heartfelt surprisingly steady.
The matching couple figurines on the desk, alongside the bouquet of blue roses, were swept into the trash without a second thought.
On the bedside table sat the stuffed bear, a prize from last Christmas.
They had been shopping that day when they stumbled upon a couple’s three-legged race in the mall.
Out of thirty-six pairs, they had taken first place.
A couple in the next lane tripped in the race, crashing directly into Victoria’s right shoulder. Almost instinctively, Edmund had pulled her into his arms, shielding her from the impact.
As they finally received the prize, Victoria’s gaze fell on Edmund’s pale face and she noticed the fine droplets of sweat gathering on his forehead.
When she pulled up his sleeve, her heart skipped a beat at the sight of his entire right arm bruised, dark and swollen.
Panic surged through her, but Edmund’s uninjured hand gently pat her head, his voice calm as ever.
"Protecting you is my duty."
The stuffed bear, large enough to fill an entire seat, was something Victoria had intended to toss right into the trash.
But just as she descended the stairs, a small child peeked out from behind the fence.
"Sister, are you throwing the bear away?" the child asked with a hesitant voice.
Victoria couldn’t help but nod, seeing the spark of hope that appeared in the child’s eyes.
"Do you want it?" she offered.
And just like that, the stuffed bear was spared from the trash, now the child’s new companion. At least it wouldn’t go to waste.
After getting rid of the last remnants, Victoria spotted Edmund approaching.
He must have just dropped Isabella off at her dorm, considering the timing.
"What did you throw away?" Edmund asked, his tone curious and a little wary.
"Just some useless things," Victoria replied casually, her voice light as she turned away, not looking back.
Fortunately, Edmund didn’t push her further. Instead, he shifted the topic to their earlier encounter.
"I really did have something urgent to deal with at school. As for Isabella, we just happened to cross paths on the way back."
"So, don’t overthink it. I really..."
"I know," Victoria cut him off with ease, her tone flat and composed.
"You two are friends, right? Friends help each other out. There’s really nothing for me to overthink."
It was odd, though.
By all logic, Victoria should have been furious.
She should have demanded answers; why was he always with Isabella? Why were their lunch plans tossed aside every time Isabella appeared? What was going on between them and what did she even mean to him?
But instead, she said nothing.
第5章
But now, Victoria didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she seemed to find excuses for him, as if smoothing over the air between them.
So why did Edmund feel no sense of relief, like he had just narrowly escaped a trap?
He stood there, lost in thought, his gaze distant, until Victoria sighed softly and walked over, patting him on the shoulder.
"What’s going on? Don’t tell me the buffalo wings left you all confused?"
"You didn’t finish the noodles at lunch. Are you planning to make up for it tonight?"
Victoria’s smile was effortless, her voice light and teasing, the brightness of her presence filling the space.
For a moment, Edmund almost believed that nothing had changed.
In the past, Victoria adored the noodles he made.
But today, for some reason, whether his cooking had lost its touch or some other reason, she only ate half before setting her spoon and fork down.
"Why aren’t you eating?" he asked, unable to ignore the strange feeling in the air.
"Probably because I had lunch too late," she replied, her tone casual. "I’m just not that hungry yet."
She’d savored the soup he made in the past, but that had been because she loved him. Now that her heart had shifted, even the soup felt lackluster.
When the memory of lunch crossed his mind, his conscience heavy, Edmund didn’t push the matter. Instead, he silently went to the kitchen, washing the dishes in quiet reflection.
As he moved through the apartment, from the kitchen to the living room, Edmund didn’t seem to notice anything was missing. Perhaps his guilt had clouded his awareness, or maybe he simply didn’t care enough to look.
Fresh from her shower, Victoria twisted her damp hair into a loose bun with a pencil. Her face, free of makeup, glowed softly under the gentle warmth of the yellow light.
Suddenly, Edmund couldn’t help but recall the rainy day when they first met. He stepped closer, his arms instinctively wrapping around her waist.
Her scent filled the air for a brief second, familiar and comforting. In the past, whenever he did this, Victoria would smile at him, sometimes even turning to kiss him with the same warmth she always had.
But tonight, she didn’t turn around.
A sharp unease struck Edmund.
"Victoria?"
Victoria didn’t respond. Instead, she gently brushed his hand away from her waist.
"I need to finish this report tonight. You should rest," she said, her voice steady, though there was a flicker of something deeper in her eyes.
"I’ve already explained everything to you," Edmund said, his voice darkening with frustration. "Do you really have to act like this?"
The steady rhythm of keys tapping filled the room as Victoria glanced up at him, her gaze tinged with helplessness.
"I really need to finish this report," she replied, her tone cool and composed. "If you don’t believe me, there’s nothing more I can say."
That night, Edmund, simmering with anger, retreated to the guest room. He didn’t notice the missing stuffed bear nor the emptiness that lingered.
The next day, Victoria sat at her desk, scrolling through websites, searching for gear for her upcoming trip to Antarctica.
Though her academic record was impeccable, she had little experience with fieldwork. The idea of working in Antarctica, so vast, so unforgiving, was still just a concept to her, something learned from textbooks, not lived.
She spent the entire afternoon scrolling through endless pages but made little headway.
Then, a notification popped up, a friend request.
The name on the screen immediately caught Victoria’s attention. It was from a senior who was also going on the expedition.
When she had submitted her application the day before, her advisor had mentioned him and urged her to add him. But between running into Edmund and Isabella, she had completely forgotten about it.
Without hesitation, she accepted the request. Almost instantly, the senior sent her a detailed list of essentials for the trip to Antarctica as if he had known what she needed.
Relieved to have found someone who could help, Victoria quickly sent her thanks.
Clearly busy senior replied with a simple “No problem” before falling silent.
Victoria didn’t mind. She followed the list closely and quickly ordered everything she needed, her heart light with the knowledge that the preparations were finally coming together.
第6章
After hours of working, Victoria was just about to take a well-earned break when her phone buzzed. It was a call from Edmund.
“Come out. I’ll take you to dinner,” he said.
Victoria, almost instinctively, began to decline.
“No need, I can—”
Before she could finish, Edmund interrupted, his tone resolute.
“I’m downstairs waiting for you.”
With that, he hung up.
Victoria’s mind raced back to that morning; his expression had been all tight lines and frustration. She knew him well enough to recognize that he’d be up here in a flash, ready to drag her out if she refused again.
There weren’t many meals left between them anyway. With that thought, she sighed, quickly freshened up and headed downstairs.
The weather wasn’t cooperating, with a light drizzle falling through a thick mist, creating a soft blur of the world outside.
Throughout the drive, Edmund wore a solemn expression as though a storm of words was brewing inside him, but he was hesitant to be the one to speak first.
Victoria pretended not to notice, her eyes fixed ahead.
It wasn’t until they halted at a red light that Edmund finally broke the silence.
“About yesterday, I was wrong—”
But before he could finish, his phone rang.
The Bluetooth amplified Isabella’s frantic voice. “Edmund! Come save me!”
Edmund’s expression hardened in an instant, his eyes sharp with urgency. Without a second thought, he swerved into the next lane and floored the gas pedal, sending the car racing in the opposite direction.
The sudden lurch threw Victoria back into her seat, her breath catching in her throat.
“Edmund, do you even realize what you’re doing right now?” she demanded, her voice tinged with disbelief.
Thankfully, there were no cars behind them, or the consequences could’ve been catastrophic.
“Victoria, stop being unreasonable! Didn’t you hear Isabella? She’s in danger! Do you have any empathy at all?” Edmund snapped, his frustration boiling over.
Victoria’s eyes flickered to the phone screen, where Isabella’s desperate messages flashed in frantic succession.
[Edmund, hurry!]
[Edmund, I’m so scared!]
[Edmund, where are you?]
Victoria’s grip on the safety handle tightened, her knuckles turning white. She said nothing, her silence speaking volumes as she watched the roads blur before her.
With each passing second, Edmund pushed the car faster, the speedometer needle climbing past 150 kilometers per hour.
The world outside spun into a smear of colors, trees and guardrails, becoming little more than streaks as they raced toward the outskirts. The wind howled, a haunting sound that blended with the roar of the car’s engine.
Victoria wasn’t typically prone to motion sickness, but the breakneck speed rattled her. Her body trembled and her lips lost all color.
Had she eaten, she might have been sick, but her stomach remained a knot of unease at that moment.
Oblivious to Victoria’s mounting concerns, Edmund was solely focused on confirming Isabella’s location. His hands gripped the wheel tighter as the phone crackled with Isabella’s excited voice.
“Edmund! Edmund, I see you! I’m in the car right in front of you; come save me!”
Edmund’s tone remained calm, though the tension in his voice betrayed his anxiety.
“Isabella, don’t worry. I’ll save you, I promise!”
But the car ahead of them didn’t slow. In fact, it accelerated its taillights a blur as it rushed into the distance.
Isabella’s frantic voice crackled over the phone again, this time breaking into sobs.
“Edmund, just following him like this won’t work! You need to cut in front of him!”
The call ended abruptly, leaving a silence thick with tension.
Victoria’s mind cleared instantly. She shook off the nausea threatening to overwhelm her and tried to reason with him, her voice strained with urgency. “Edmund, this is a mountain road! You’re going over 100 kilometers per hour! Cutting in front of him like this, it's suicide!”
But Edmund seemed deaf to her words. Without hesitation, he slammed his foot down on the accelerator.
The sudden force pressed Victoria back into her seat, her head snapping backward, a sharp pain shooting through her neck. Dizzy and disoriented, she struggled to keep her thoughts together.
“All you’re doing is throwing your life away!” she cried out, her voice rising in desperation.
Trying to make him see reason, she continued, her words tumbling out in a rush.
“That car in front is worth at least three million. No kidnapper would drive something like that! The driver knows Isabella! She’s probably not even in danger; stop risking your life for nothing!”
第7章
“Besides, we can call the police. We have the license plate and the location. If we report it now, they’ll be here soon,” Victoria said, her voice thick with urgency.
But Edmund seemed deaf to her words, his grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled, his lips trembling as he muttered under his breath.
“Isabella… I will never let anything happen to you, Isabella…”
Victoria’s heart sank. She felt like an invisible bystander, watching as a grand love story unfolded before her, one where she was nothing more than a shadow, a mere afterthought.
Tears threatened to spill, but she forced them back, her gaze fixed on the road ahead.
Suddenly, Edmund yanked the wheel with a roar and all she could see was a blinding flash of white, followed by a gut-wrenching crash.
The violent collision reverberated through the mountains like a thunderclap.
When Victoria’s vision cleared, everything around her was bathed in red. Her hand instinctively went to her forehead, her fingers brushing against the warm, sticky liquid that trailed down her face. Her arm was pinned between the seats and she winced in pain as she noticed the jagged, bloodied split of her ring finger.
Somehow, she was still alive. Miraculously, the car carrying Isabella had slammed on the brakes just in time.
Victoria couldn’t help but admit that luxury cars had impeccable braking systems.
Victoria couldn’t help but wonder if her brain had been knocked loose in the crash. The pain in her head was unbearable as if everything inside her had shifted.
Edmund, too, was badly injured, blood dripping from a long gash on his cheek.
Still, he stubbornly shoved the door open, struggling to stand.
Only one streetlight flickered dimly on the lonely mountain road, casting long shadows over the wrecked cars.
By the time Edmund staggered out, Isabella was already there, rushing toward him with desperate relief.
“Edmund! You came! Finally!” Her voice quivered with fear.
“I was so scared… so terrified! I thought I might lose you…”
Despite being practically unscathed, Isabella's tears flowed like a river, louder and more frantic than anyone else’s.
Edmund pulled her into his arms, his voice a tender, reassuring whisper.
“It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe now. No one will hurt you.”
Trailing behind her, a young man with a mixed background limped forward, visibly injured with scrapes on his face and legs.
His face twisted with fury as he watched the pair in a tight embrace.
“Isabella, have you lost your mind?” he demanded, his tone seething with anger.
Tears streamed down Isabella’s face as she wiped her eyes furiously, her voice shaking with defiance.
“We’re done! Even if I die, I’ll never go with you!”
Edmund straightened, his back stiff with resolve and shielded her behind him.
“As long as I’m here, you’ll never take her away!”
The man’s glare turned cold, his eyes burning into Isabella.
“Are you sure you want to be with him?”