You Can't Live on Reluctance Alone

After I picked Mia up from preschool, I didn't drive home. I drove straight to the downtown bank branch. Sitting in the VIP room, I handed the teller the card I used to pay my brother's mortgage. "I need to cancel the automatic payments on this account." The teller typed, then looked up to confirm. "Ma'am, once we cancel the automatic payment, if a payment isn't made on time it'll affect the account holder's credit and incur late fees." "I understand." My face didn't move. "Cancel it." Years ago my mother cried and begged me, saying my brother couldn't get married without a house. I gave in. On top of the down payment, I'd been covering the mortgage from my own card ever since. All these years I thought I was providing for my own flesh and blood. Turns out I'd been feeding a pack of ingrates. Walking out of the bank, I called the property management for my parents' complex. "I'm the owner of Unit 802, Building 6. Please remove every facial-recognition and fingerprint authorization from the door system except my own." "Yes. That includes my parents and my brother." Once all of that was done, I took Mia out for a big dinner. It was already nine by the time we got home. Glen wasn't back yet. I got Mia settled in bed, then sat alone on the living room couch, scrolling through my feed. Polly had posted something new. Set to visible only to me. In the photo, Glen sat on the rug with his sleeves rolled up, building a big Lego castle with Finn. His broad back to the camera, the picture of a doting father. The caption read: "When a child grows up without a father's love, someone always comes along to pay it all back, principal and interest. So grateful for you." A cold smile touched my lips as I looked at it. I hit like. A minute later, Polly deleted the post. Probably because my reaction wasn't what she'd expected, and it left her unsettled. At eleven-thirty, the front door beeped with the keypad lock. Glen came in carrying a pretty cake box. There was a famous trendy bakery downtown, the kind where the line usually ran two hours. He walked up behind me, slid his arms around my waist, and rested his chin on my shoulder. "You're still up, sweetheart." He smelled faintly of perfume, the floral one Polly always wore. "I was waiting for you." I didn't pull away. My voice was low. Glen smiled and pushed the cake toward me. "Bought this just for you. Stood in line forever. I neglected you at the field day today, so don't be mad at me." His voice was so tender, as if he really were a husband who cherished his wife. If I hadn't seen Polly's post, I might have been moved. He'd used the time left over from playing with his illegitimate son to line up for a cake, and imagined it could cancel out every wound. "Thank you, darling husband." I turned my head and looked at him. Glen paused. He'd found me so obedient today that he'd settled into that smug satisfaction of a man with the home front holding steady while he flew his other flags outside. He leaned in to kiss my lips. I tilted my head slightly, and his kiss landed on my cheek. "I'm going to take a shower." I stood, keeping out of his reach. Right then the phone on the coffee table started buzzing without stop. It was my mother calling. I picked up and put it on speaker. "How could you do this?" My mother's voice rang through the living room. "Your brother just got back to the complex and the door wouldn't open. Security said you canceled his authorization!" "And I just got a text from the bank saying the mortgage account had insufficient funds and the payment failed!" "What is this supposed to mean? You'd drive your own brother to the wall over some outsider?" Glen watched me from the side, his brows drawn tight. "Mom, I'm not throwing a tantrum." My tone was perfectly even. "My money doesn't fall out of the sky. Since James blood is so precious, let Glen pay the mortgage instead!" "Anyway, his head's full of his brother-in-law's project now. Let him call a stranger father if he wants to." "You—you ingrate!" My mother cursed me down the line. I hung up and blocked her. Glen's face went completely dark. "What are you doing? Is that any way to talk to Mom?" He said it looking down at me, accusing. "What did I say?" I looked at him. "I just stopped funding my brother. Is that wrong too?" Glen sighed and came over to take my hand. "I know you're upset. But your brother is family to us as well." "Here's what we'll do. I'll pay the mortgage. Just don't fight with your family." He thought money could solve everything. "No need." I pulled my hand free. Glen looked at me, impatience in his eyes. "So what exactly do you plan to do? I'm exhausted. I don't want to argue with you." He stopped, and his tone turned hard. "By the way, there's something I want to discuss with you." "Mia's guaranteed spot at the top-ranked school. Give it to Finn." "It's hard for Polly, raising a child on her own. Finn needs a good start." "Mia's a girl. I'll pay to send her to an international school later." He looked at me and laid out the shameless demand like he had every right to it.

The air in the living room seemed to stop moving. Standing beside the man I'd shared eight years of my life with, I felt like I was looking at a stranger. To please his mistress, he was willing to sacrifice his own daughter's future. He was certain I wouldn't dare fight back, certain I couldn't leave him. I lowered my eyes and hid the cold in them. When I looked up again, my eyes were rimmed red, wounded and yielding. “All right. I'll do whatever you say.” My voice came out small, a little unsteady. Glen clearly hadn't expected that. He'd braced for me to scream and throw a fit, had even rehearsed his comebacks. He hadn't imagined I'd agree so easily. “You……you're really agreeing?” he asked again, like he couldn't believe it. “What else can I do?” I said with a bitter smile. “You're right. Mia's a girl. Finn is what carries on the James line.” “I can't win this fight, and I don't want to.” Glen's expression melted into tenderness at once. He crossed over and pulled me up into his arms. “Honey, I know this isn't fair to you.” He patted my shoulder, wearing a look of feigned emotion. “Don't worry. I promise I'll make it up to you and Mia someday.” Make it up? I rested against his chest, my eyes ice cold. The next morning, Glen had barely gotten to the office when Polly showed up at the door. She carried a box of expensive health tonic, a victor's smile on her face. “Summer, Glen already told me.” She slipped into a pair of house slippers as if she owned the place and walked into the living room. “Thank you for giving the spot to Finn. I was actually worried you'd be angry.” She went to the cabinet and, with easy familiarity, took out my treasured Okura tea set. It was the wedding anniversary gift Glen had bid on for me in Japan years ago and brought home. Polly brewed herself a cup, then sat on the sofa holding it, playing the lady of the house. “Summer, honestly, there's no need to be so upset.” “She's a girl. What good is all that schooling? She'll just get married one day anyway.” “Finn is different. He's the one who'll inherit the James family business.” She took a sip of tea, and the words slid neatly into the softest part of me. I sat across from her, watching her get carried away with herself, and felt not a flicker of anger. Only amusement. “True.” I agreed mildly. “Then here's to a bright future for Finn.” Polly must have felt like she'd thrown a punch into cotton. It took the fun out of it. She set the cup down and stood. “Well, I won't keep you from your rest. Glen's taking me this afternoon to finish the paperwork for the transfer.” At the door she turned back and looked at me, her eyes full of challenge. “Summer, Glen really does love you, you know. Just be a good girl and do as you're told, and this home is still yours.” With that, she strutted out, pleased with herself. I looked at the cup she'd used, then picked it up and dropped it in the trash. Ding. My phone buzzed. A voice message from my mother. I answered the call, and there was a fawning note in her voice. “Summer, Mom heard you gave the spot to Finn?” “Now that's more like it! A woman needs to be gracious. Keep Glen happy, and that five million for your brother's project comes through sooner.” “Don't you worry. Once the money's in, I'll have your brother buy you a designer bag!” Not one of them cared what Mia had lost. They cared only about how much they could scrape off Glen's plate. I said nothing, just powered the phone off. Two o'clock. By now, I figured Glen and Polly had finished their business at the education office. I changed my clothes and drove to Mia's preschool. “Mrs. James, what brings you here?” Her teacher was surprised to see me. “I'm here to withdraw Mia.” My tone was calm. The teacher froze. “Withdraw? But Mia's about to move up to the senior class, and she does so well……” “Something's come up at home. We're leaving the city.” I didn't explain any further, just followed the procedure through. Once I had the withdrawal notice in hand, the last weight lifted off my chest. I took Mia and left the preschool. “Mommy, do we not have to come to school anymore?” Mia asked, tipping her head up at me. “That's right. Mommy's taking you somewhere new, to make new friends. How does that sound?” “Okay!” Mia nodded hard. Back home, I set the two suitcases I'd already packed by the door. I walked to the dining table and took a document out of my bag, laying it down. It was the divorce papers, already signed with my name. Tucked beneath Mia's school withdrawal notice. I looked around at the place I'd lived in for eight years. No longing. Only release. I locked the door, took Mia's hand, and stepped into the elevator. “Mommy, where are we going?” “Somewhere without Daddy.”